I have been smoke free for 7 whole days and I'm extremely bored. My life is a vacuous pit of nothingness. It's like the weird blackness that took over the world in The Neverending Story. I am sitting here right now drinking coffee and I'm bored out of my mind.
This week I got a phone call from my ex, who I still basically am in love with, and it really made my day. He cheered me up and asked why I would do such a silly thing as to quit smoking. Miserable is sometimes worse than smoking was his point.
I went out with this guy last night, he's nice, kind of dorky, he very much reminds me of President Obama. Nowhere near as hot because, yes, President Obama is smoking fine, but they have the same skin tone and height/build, and manner of speaking. I found out that he lives with his mother because he JUST got out of a 7 year relationship.
OK, I have known him for 3 weeks and he just told me this, which is fine, but I know exactly what it is like to get out of a 7 year relationship. Three years ago this month I ended a relationship that was going nowhere, and I no longer loved him, but it took me a really long time to get over the whole stupid ordeal. So, I am a little worried about him being ready to date me.
Also, I'm a maneater and get bored very easily. I am almost already bored with him. I can't seem to concentrate on one guy for a very long time.
I can't seem to concentrate on a damn thing without cigarettes.
Life has basically no meaning anymore. I don't like food that much, so I can't turn to that, and my coffee intake has increased to dangerous levels.
Sex isn't helping either.
Work helps, but at some point I have to go home.
This is how I feel all the time:
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