Shizzle

Shizzle is my substitute swear word for shit. Shit became my favorite curse word perhaps when I was 10 or so, but now that I work in the wonderful world of politics, I can't let my tongue be that loose....well, in front of other people. There's more than enough swearing going on behind closed doors. I just loved when President Obama called Kanye a jackass because he is my political idol and it somehow made my potty mouth seem better.

Shizzle is actually a derivation of shizzle nizzle, which is a derivation of "that's some cold shizzle nizzle," a dubbed quote from a Jet Li movie that my sister and I watched on TNT several years ago. Ever after, it has been a line we whip out and laugh to hysterically.

Why am I writing about this? I came down with a blinding sinus infection last Sunday. I knew I was sick because although I normally suffer ridiculous levels of sinus pain, this was accompanied by a fever and the cold shakes. Alternations of extreme work business and me laying in bed reading blogs and watching hulu have ensued. Tuesday was my first sick day since I became an official politico (instead of just a volunteer), a fact that makes me proud because in previous professional incarnations, I have exhausted my sick days within months.

This is all leading to my extreme denial that my sinus infection has ANYTHING to do at all with my resumption of the cigarettes. I became ill because I wasn't sleeping, was stressed out about work, and live with my family, 2 of whom suffered from severe sinus infections mere days before I became ill.

And I continue to smoke. Usually when sick, cigarettes take a slight edge off of the pain. This time, not so. This sinus infection is completely within my sinus cavities. It's not so much a build up of mucus as it is an inflammation of the sinus cavities, which apparently causes the mind numbing pain (thank you Web MD). The pain is at such a consistent, dull level that I can barely think straight while working. I have become quite stupid.

Shizzle has become such a part of my vocabulary that I have started to use it almost ubiquitously. I must train my brain to start saying shit again. Since I was a child, I have had the habit of talking out loud to myself, holding entire conversations, vocally putting out into the world all the strange things that go on in my head. It's quite embarrassing when I loudly shout 'shizzle!' upon tripping on steps or stubbing a toe in public.

This blog post is a perfect example of my inability to concentrate on one thing at a time while suffering this ridiculous bacterial infection. The worst part about it is that I was put on a regimen of 5 day antibiotics, SUPER antibiotics, instead of the normal 10 day dosage. These drugs, called z pack, have instituted a severe case of gastrointestinal distress. Now I not only have a fever and sinus pain, but I also am suffering from nausea and other problems, things which have caused me to shout shizzle more than a few times in the past week.

To my great delight, there are now only 10 days left until the general election. A hiatus from literature drops and phone banking is direly needed by this nicotine addict. It won't last long, I anticipate a flurry of activity beginning in early December, but I need some goddamn rest.

I have the perfect job. I do a million things a day, travel all over the area I live in, go to meetings about everything from economic development to building new community centers, organize press conferences, write legislation, design and administer a web site, go to events and functions where it is actually EXPECTED for me to drink and enjoy myself, and hobnob with an extremely interesting variety of individuals.

When I get home, however, the last thing I want to do is read another Mailer book (one is staring me down right now, just waiting to be read), or take up a hobby like learning to play guitar, or even gussy myself up for a date.

I just want to lie in bed and watch old movies on netflix, smoke cigarettes and drink wine. Which is what I'm doing right now. Perfect rainy Saturday (I did drive over an hour at the crack of dawn this morning to do a lit drop, but I'm forgetting that).

Shizzle!