Rage

I am breathless with rage right now, so much so that I am taking time out of my insanely busy day to...vent, I suppose.

Politics is my bread and butter, it is what I surround myself with daily, both professionally and personally. Embroilment in local politics can be trying but is ultimately extremely satisfying when I can help constituents with their needs. It's a cesspool, though, of wannabes and self-important jackoffs who never made it to the state or national level and crave even insignificant levels of power within their own small community. I deal with these people too, and it's distasteful but part of my job.

For graduate school I chose Washington, D.C. I attended one of the most prestigious schools of international relations in the country, if not the world, and I became enmeshed in national/international politics at the highest levels.

I spend my free time reading political blogs, political novels/books, talking to friends about politics. It's my passion, my weakness, my strength, and basically, my life.

However, I do not myself blog or write about politics because I need some sort of outlet, some alternate form of reality to save me from jumping out of a window. There's no levity in that statement - I have been moved on occasion to end it all because I cannot seem to deal with the overwhelming passion and disappointment I experience on a daily basis, experienced by just driving to work in the morning.

But this.....this.....this is too much to bear.

The Stupak Amendment, passed on November 7th, is a direct assault upon my body, my brain, my soul, my individuality, my identity, and my purpose.

Should I be surprised? No. We haven't managed to get the ERA passed and therefore there is no constitutional recognition, let alone protection, of women in this country. We can't argue for our human rights because we still are not recognized, legally, as human beings. I can own property, get divorced, vote, hold down a job...but I do not have control over my body.

Sexism pervades my life so exquisitely that it is impossible to notice most of the time. Informally, sexism is something I cannot change, but I can defend myself against it. Formally, however, well.......the Vatican has more of a say over my rights than I do. Who the fuck do they think they are, legislating morality and religion? I do not believe in god, any god. I do not believe in heaven or hell or limbo or purgatory. I do not believe that a fetus is a tiny little human with a soul. It is definitely something, which is called a fetus, but it's not me.

Regardless of the way in which religion has framed the abortion debate, it's essentially about my right to decide what to do with my body. It's actually legal in this country to receive an abortion, yet since Roe v. Wade, protection after protection has been culled away until this most recent assault.

I can't offer any answers right now, I'm just insanely enraged and cannot focus on anything else. I must get back to work, I feel slightly less homicidal.